Dating is not a Dirty Word

by Donna Sozio

Ladies, where did the joy in dating go? Did we pack it away with our high school yearbook? Today, it seems like women are just as results orientated with love as they are with getting a promotion. Like a burning hoop of fire, we’ve come to think of dating as something we have to “get over with” to find love and happiness. Yet, with a little tweak of perspective – Sole Perspective – dating can be a source of happiness in itself. If Justin Timberlake can bring sexy back then let’s bring back the fun in dating.

For just this moment, forget everything you think you know about finding love. Get back to your beginner’s mind. Rewind. Let yourself be a debutante, amateur, a first-timer. Because when you play full out with nothing to lose, you always win. Now, try this on for size: shopping for a man (a.k.a. dating) can be just as fun as shopping for a new pair of shoes.

Think about your favorite shoe store. There are hundreds of shoes all laid out in front of you, just hoping you pick them up and try them on for size. While shopping for a new pair of shoes, innately you know it’s ladies’ choice. All you have to do it show up. Right?

The same goes for dating. You have a favorite shoe store, so where is your favorite place to “shop” for men? Is it downtown just after the five o’clock bell? At the beach… so you don’t have to wait to see his rippling bare chest? Perhaps, it’s online? Just like your favorite shoe store, pick a place where there is a high possibility you’ll find at least one man who will fit.

Whether it’s shoes or men, the truth is that relationships aren’t about the other. They’re about you! Shoe shopping is so fun because new shoes offer you an opportunity to express to the world the qualities you already love about yourself. The same goes for romantic relationships. It feels wonderful being in love because relationships offer you an opportunity to express these same fabulous qualities about yourself.

If you haven’t found the perfect relationship, yet – don’t worry. A little tweak of your Sole Perspective works wonders. Consider this: while shopping for shoes, you don’t get down on yourself if you don’t find the perfect pair of summer sandals, sexy stilettos, or sporty slides. You don’t think that if only you had done something differently, everything would have worked out. Instead, you keep on shopping. You keep showing up because you know there are other stores, other styles, and most importantly, every day there is a new delivery of stock from the backroom. You just haven’t seen them… yet.

While you’re out shopping for a man, one of the quickest ways to size up him up before you try him on for size, is to consider the shoes he’s wearing. What qualities about him do they express? Just like a first impression – your Sole Impression comes round circle. If you’re not supposed to judge a man before you’re walked a mile in his shoes, consider instead the shoes he chooses to walk a mile in. They speak volumes.

Go ahead. Put the fun back into dating. Consider each date just as fabulous as an afternoon spent in your favorite shoe store. Each holds the promise of finding something or someone who makes your heart sing because when it’s ladies choice, you’ll always find your perfect fit.


Donna Sozio is the author of Never Trust a Man in Alligator Loafers: What a Man’s Shoes Really Say About his True Love Potential.